Cougar Dating Vignettes
Ever since my recent appearance on The Learning Channelâ€™s â€œSTRANGE SEXâ€ series, Iâ€™ve been deluged with emails asking me to share some of my experiences dating younger men. This Cougar phenomenon seemed to come out of the blue, as if we older women havenâ€™t been enjoying ourselves for years. Talk about coming out of the closet! I never felt like I was in one! For me, it all felt natural and fun.
Here are several vignettes from my years of single sex that I think youâ€™ll enjoy:
He: Ever slept with a cab driver?
Me: Once, a few years ago
He: It was me. Donâ€™t pay your fare!
GUY ON BIKE
Biker:Â (stopping me on the street) Youâ€™re Hattie arenâ€™t you?
Me: Yes. Iâ€™m Hattie
He: Been screwing lately?
Me: Nope. Iâ€™m celibate.
He: (riding away) â€¦ waste of a national treasure!
TV Producer: I just broke up with my girlfriend.
Me: Why are you calling me?
He:Â I want to take you to bed.
Me: Could you get me on TV instead?
AT LUNCH WITH GIRLFRIEND
Me: (to friend) Iâ€™d love to make love at the Plaza today.â€
She: Good luck.
Out of Town Salesman: I saw your ad in New York Magazine. Would you join me this Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â afternoon at the Plaza? Iâ€™m in room 1212.
Me: Cool. See you in 15 minutes. By the way, whatâ€™s your name?
Me: (commenting to man at store window) Arenâ€™t those shoes gorgeous?
He: Youâ€™re gorgeous
Me: Your place or mine?
He: Would you consider modeling for a magazine shoot?
Me: Do I have to pose nude?
He: Yes, I hope thatâ€™s okay.
Me: Just what I had in mind!
Guy arriving with suitcase: This is filled with the greatest sex toys.
Me: Actually, Iâ€™m not into that scene.
He: (leaving) Pity, guess Iâ€™ll have to play with them myself.
Me:Â (phoning a former lover)
Itâ€™s Hattie, how about coming to my place tonight?â€
He: Iâ€™m married, but that doesnâ€™t matter.
Me: Well, it matters to me.
Artist on subway: Iâ€™m really into older women.
Me: And if I were 20, youâ€™d tell me youâ€™re only into 20 year olds!
CARIBBEAN FASHION STATEMENT
Me: (draping my pearls over my dateâ€™s erection)
Iâ€™ve always liked basic black and pearls!