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Cougar Dating Vignettes

2010 September 8

Ever since my recent appearance on The Learning Channel’s “STRANGE SEX” series, I’ve been deluged with emails asking me to share some of my experiences dating younger men. This Cougar phenomenon seemed to come out of the blue, as if we older women haven’t been enjoying ourselves for years. Talk about coming out of the closet! I never felt like I was in one! For me, it all felt natural and fun.

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Here are several vignettes from my years of single sex that I think you’ll enjoy:

CAB DRIVER

He: Ever slept with a cab driver?

Me: Once, a few years ago

He: It was me. Don’t pay your fare!

GUY ON BIKE

Biker:  (stopping me on the street) You’re Hattie aren’t you?

Me: Yes. I’m Hattie

He: Been screwing lately?

Me: Nope. I’m celibate.

He: (riding away) … waste of a national treasure!

TV PRODUCER

TV Producer: I just broke up with my girlfriend.

Me: Why are you calling me?

He:  I want to take you to bed.

Me: Could you get me on TV instead?

AT LUNCH WITH GIRLFRIEND

Me: (to friend) I’d love to make love at the Plaza today.”

She: Good luck.

Telephone ring

Out of Town Salesman: I saw your ad in New York Magazine. Would you join me this             afternoon at the Plaza? I’m in room 1212.

Me: Cool. See you in 15 minutes. By the way, what’s your name?

WINDOW SHOPPING

Me: (commenting to man at store window) Aren’t those shoes gorgeous?

He: You’re gorgeous

Me: Your place or mine?

PHOTO GIG

He: Would you consider modeling for a magazine shoot?

Me: Do I have to pose nude?

He: Yes, I hope that’s okay.

Me: Just what I had in mind!

TOY STORY

Guy arriving with suitcase: This is filled with the greatest sex toys.

Me: Actually, I’m not into that scene.

He: (leaving) Pity, guess I’ll have to play with them myself.

OLD FLAME

Me:  (phoning a former lover)

It’s Hattie, how about coming to my place tonight?”

He: I’m married, but that doesn’t matter.

Me: Well, it matters to me.

 

SUBWAY STOP

Artist on subway: I’m really into older women.

Me: And if I were 20, you’d tell me you’re only into 20 year olds!

 

CARIBBEAN FASHION STATEMENT

Me: (draping my pearls over my date’s erection)

I’ve always liked basic black and pearls!

2 Responses leave one →
  1. nathalie from montreal permalink
    November 17, 2010

    to be honnest a just saw your episode on tlc. i was curious and i do not regret it. reading you was great. you made me laugh. you are a great woman Hattie on the inside and outside.
    bye bye nathalie

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